| (no subject) |
[Feb. 5th, 2009|11:25 pm] |
Millard Fuller was the first person I met at the Clinton School, other than my classmates, who truly made me happy to be in public service. He gave an inspiring and amazing hour-long speech at 8AM one morning and after the speech we got to meet with him and speak as an intimate group.
Millard Fuller is the founder of Habitat for Humanity, one of the premier nonprofits in the world. He was such a simple and sweet man, and was as Southern as can be. In fact, when he spoke he reminded me of Foghorn Leghorn, the character from Looney Tunes. Despite this seeming simple-ness, he came up with an idea in the 70s and turned it into an operation that has built over 200,000 homes in 100 countries in the past 30-40 years.
Millard Fuller died this week, and it saddens me to think about it. At the same time, however, he did everything with his life that I hope to do with mine, and there's something peaceful about that. If you've got some time and want to watch a captivating and heartlifting speech, check out http://www.clintonschoolspeakers.com/lecture/view/eliminating-poverty-housing/ If you don't have time to watch the whole thing, just pick a random 5 minutes and check it out.
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 12th, 2009|12:10 am] |
I just watched this documentary and I would highly recommend it. I watch a ton of documentaries but I really enjoyed this one both because of the story and because a lot of the footage is from videos made by the film's subject, Farmer John, and he wrote and narrated the entire movie.
I would really like to subscribe to Community Supported Agriculture(CSA), where basically you pay a set amount per week or month to receive a box of fresh produce, eggs, etc every week from a local(usually organic) farm. Of course I won't be able to do this until I become more stable, in many senses of the word, but mainly in that I need a real income and a real home. I keep thinking that's going to happen sometime soon, but I keep proving myself wrong, so who knows if I'll ever get to the point when I can enjoy CSA. I guess that at least gives me time to learn how to cook. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 8th, 2009|11:14 pm] |
I want to start writing in a journal again, and a non-paper journal is my only option. Right now I can't decide whether I want to keep typing in here or whether I want to make a completely new journal/blog that no one knows about. I don't know too many people who still use LJ, and the ones who do continue to use it I have the utmost respect for, so that makes me feel like maybe I should just allow them to continue to see my (fucked up) thoughts. But at the same time, the idea of complete anonymity doesn't sound too bad either. At any rate, here's my year end survey for 2008...
1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
-Started graduate school
-Lived in 3 different states
-Danced at a bar/club
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
-I more than likely did not keep them, this year I didn't even bother to make 'em.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
-Yeah, Julie's sister had a beautiful baby daughter, and some of my other friends had babies too. I'm getting old.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
No but George Carlin died and that hurt. Bernie Mac's death also sort of head-fucked me.
5. What countries did you visit?
America
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
-money, sanity
7. What date(s) from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
- The day I started the Clinton School
- 2 year anniversary with julie
- Barack Obama's election
- Last days in Colorado
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
- Starting graduate school and surviving the first semester
9. What was your biggest failure?
- I'm still fat and an alcoholic
10. Did you suffer any illness or injury?
- Nothing serious but then again I don't go to the doctor anymore because I don't have health insurance
11. What was the best thing you bought?
- Rock Band
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
- Obama's, Chanley's, Julie's
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
-Nearly everyone's
14. Where did most of your money go?
-Rent, food, and beer
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
-Going home for xmas
16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
-Baby please come home
-Single Ladies
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? sadder again
ii. thinner or fatter? fatter
iii. richer or poorer? definitely poorer
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
-learned, exercised, not drank
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
-drank, slept
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
-I spent it in Houston with my family
22. Did you fall in love in 2008?
-no but I continued to be in love while dealing with the heartbreak that distance causes
23. How many one-night stands?
-zero
24. What was your favorite TV program?
-COPS, the office, 30rock, seinfeld, king of the hill
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
-i dont know if ive ever hated anyone
26. What was the best/most inspiring book you read?
-Call of the Wild was pretty great
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
-Ryan Bingham, etc
28. What did you want and get?
-Nintendo DS, acceptance to grad school
29. What did you want and not get?
-a wii
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
-To be honest I haven't seen much, I liked Batman though
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
-Julie took me to Estes Park and it was one of the best times I've ever had. I love and miss her.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
-more money, getting skinny again
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
-Tshirt and jeans, and business casual at school
34. What kept you sane?
-medication and beer
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
-Tina Fey
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
-All of em
37. Who did you miss?
-JULIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, houston, and others
38. Who was the best new person you met?
All my classmates at UACS
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:
Life is hard
40. Quote a song that sums up your year:
"Don't shoot" |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 21st, 2008|11:16 pm] |
I plan on posting in here again some day. This school keeps me crazy busy. I love it yet I'm the most stressed I've been in my life. I've met and heard lectures from all sorts of people, from FBI agents to authors to politicians to filmmakers etc. I got to meet Hillary Clinton, Eric Schlosser(author of Fast Food Nation), Millard Fuller(founder of Habitat for Humanity), Chuck D(of public enemy) and many more. The most exciting ones have probably been the ones that are least recognizable by name to the average person.
In my class of 30 there are such people as Beatire Biira(inspiration for the bestselling children's book Beatrice's Goat and seen on programs like Oprah and 60 minutes). Mikki I'm thinkin maybe you're familiar with it. Also, Spirit Trickey, daughter of MinniJean Brown Trickey, one of the Little Rock Nine(the nine black students who tried to attend Central High in 1957 and became the faces of desegregation). The runner up for Ms Arkansas is also a classmate of mine. A member of the Ugandan Parliament. Etc Etc Etc. It's insane and I'm super lucky to be here.
That being said, I must get back to other thangs. Oh yeah, Jerry Springer is speaking at the school tomorrow. I miss houston like mad. I miss Julie even more. I hope to update this more often because if I don't get my thoughts/feelings out I'm going to go insane. If you're interested in what I'm up to on a regular basis or you're just bored at work and wanting things to look at, check out www.clintonschoolblog.com |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 2nd, 2008|08:57 pm] |
I got Dr. Katz from netflix the other day after it randomly came up in some conversation with Julie. I remembered liking the show back in the 90s when it was on, but had almost forgotten all about it. Now that it's back it's still just as genius as it was 10 years ago. They just released the entire series on a DVD set last year, I need to invest in it.
Julie left today to go back to TX. Actually right now she's in Amarillo TX at a hotel. I'm already bummed and lonely. At the same time, it means that I'm heading home soon as well. According to my myspace countdown, I've got 24 days left, which is unreal to think about. This summer will be rough, however, since both Julie and I will be living at home, and it will be difficult to find a place where we can have our privacy. Nonetheless, I'm excited about being home, and I really want to make the best out of this summer.
Speaking of summmer, next summer I will be in a foreign country working on my international service project. It's just one of the awesome features of the Clinton School. I got a full scholarship for tuition, but I'm still applying for loans so that I don't have to work much my first year, which will be a nice change. Although I'll end up owing money in the end, it'll be worth it because the first year of schooling is pretty intense and involves lots of book signings and guest speakers(including Mr. Clinton himself). Needless to say, I'm ultra excited about this fall, although I don't look forward to leaving Julie again. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 19th, 2008|04:15 pm] |
"John,
Congratulations! I am delighted to relate that the Admissions Committee met this morning and made a unanimous decision to offer you a place in the fall 2008 class. An official letter of acceptance which outlines the scholarship offer as well as an acceptance form will be sent out tomorrow. Information about housing is under revision and will follow next week.
Please do not hesitate to call if you have any questions or concerns. I will look forward to being in touch.
Anne W. Speed
Director, Admissions
University of Arkansas Clinton School of Public Service
1200 President Clinton Ave.,
Little Rock, AR. 72201"
Well that's unexpected.
http://www.clintonschool.uasys.edu/ |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 8th, 2008|11:21 am] |
I accidentally left my Ipod in the car overnight and it literally froze. I'm usually good about remembering that it gets super cold here overnight but I guess last nigt I forgot. Luckily, after putting it in my pocket for 10 minutes to warm it up it started working again.
I had my interview with the Clinton School this morning and I don't think it went all that well. I'll be semi-disappointed if I don't get in, but at the same time that means I'll get to stay in Houston for a while, which will be great. There's a few Red Cross jobs available in Houston right now that I might be qualified for. The main chapter office is at 59 and Kirby, so I'll still be able to live in Montrose and ride my bike to work. Plus it'll be a real job where I'll make a real salary!
But if I try to get the Red Cross job, it means I'll have to do a lot of different trainings here before I leave, so these next few months may be a bit hectic.
41 weeks down, 11 more weeks of service left! |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 6th, 2008|04:16 pm] |
For the past couple days I've been reading through my entire livejournal, from 2002 to present. It was really quite an enlightening experience, though I also saw how mundane and depressing most of my posts were/are. Despite this, I went ahead and copy and pasted most of the important ones to a word document so I can keep a copy of them in case LJ ever goes out of business. It came out to a 141 page document, I'm shopping it around for a publisher as we speak.
Reading the past 5 or 6 years of your life in a matter of 48 hours really helps you get a perspective on things. I saw how much I've changed, and how much really I haven't. Also, since I'm no longer in the situations I was reading about, it was like I was reading it as a stranger, and it helped me notice some of my flaws and destructive patterns. Now, who knows if I'll actually act to change these patterns(considering that "talking about change but never doing it" is one of the patterns I noticed).
I read about my relationship history, from Jaime to present, and I was able to see which friends have always been here for me, even though most of them came as no surprise. All in all it was a great exercise in self reflection, and I would definitely recommend it to any of my friends who happen to have a lot of time to waste.
Now that it's no longer a mystery as to how I got to the place/person that I am, I feel more confident that I can do the things to change the negative aspects of my current life. This year of service has really dragged me down in almost every way, and reading about my life before moving here really helped me see the light at the end of the tunnel.
And on that note, I love Colorado. I feel that I give off the impression that I absolutely hate it here, but it's not that. The state itself is beautiful, and I wouldn't trade the experiences I've had for the world. It's just that almost everything else about life(bills, work, health, stress levels, etc) has suffered tremendously, so it makes it seem like I'm not liking it. Once I get back to a life where I'm not constantly struggling to make ends meet I'll be able to reflect on my time here and be thankful for it.
And on that note, the workday is over, I'm going home.
Well, actually, to the gym, then home. |
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| snow |
[Dec. 10th, 2007|10:16 am] |
is super scary to drive in, especially when your windshield wipers freeze and cease to function, thus causing your windshield to rapidly become blanketed in a combination of water and ice. It also sucks when you try to turn right at a light in Denver and instead slide right through the intersection. It sure is perty though.
This weekend Julie and I went to Boulder, CO to see Aimee Mann's 2nd Annual Christmas Show. It was really good. She sang some of her songs, both from her christmas album and some of the hits(like Save Me, and Wise Up), plus she had lots of special guests and a short film she made with Will Ferrell, Ben Stiller, John Krasinski, and many others. It was part of my xmas presents to Julie. Even though it was one of the most treacherous drives of my life, it was worth it in the end. Julie's mom bought us a hotel room as an xmas present so we wouldn't have to drive back to Colorado Springs in the middle of the night, and I am extremely grateful that she did. We stayed at the Boulder Outlook Hotel, and it advertises itself as Boulder's first "zero-waste" hotel, it was a pretty interesting place.
We took a cab to the show, because I was no longer interested in driving after all the troubles of the trek to Boulder, and our cabbie was certifiably insane. Aside from just talking crazy, he was just sliding and swerving all over in the snow without a care. His windshield wipers went out after he picked us up and he just didn't care whether or not he could see the road. He got us to the Boulder Theater, so that's all that mattered to me. Sunday we drove back into town in much nicer conditions. The roads were basically clear even though there's still snow everywhere else. Do not worry friends, we were not at New Life Church when the shooting happened, sometimes it pays to be a godless heretic I suppose. Not that those people deserved to die, it's definitely a sad event.
At work the past couple days I've been bored(and by bored I mean lazy and prone to procrastinating) so I've been reading old livejournal posts from my pleasedie666 journal days. It's weird to see how much I've changed over the years. That journal goes all the way back to 2002, when I was a 19 year old straightedge vegetarian kid who was dating Jaime. Despite being just 5 years ago, those days seems like a completely different lifetime. Even though I was just a young, dumb kid, it's sad to see that all the youthful vigor I had in my writing of the time is gone nowadays. Albeit that most of the writing was just trite nonsense, as it still is, at least you could tell that I was having fun with it. Nowadays when I write things down it's solely for the purpose of remembering it later on. And that sort of attitude reflects upon my life as a whole. It's become entirely too methodical. Not that I don't enjoy my life nowadays, it's just a different one, and I think part of growing up is realizing that you can't live like you're 19 forever.
I'm not trying to spend a lot of time pining over lost youth, I just want to write down a reminder to myself to not lose touch with it. I always believed in the Kevin Seconds "young til I die" philosophy, but it gets hard to do when life keeps bogging you down. True, this is probably one of the most stressful times in my life, due to constant impecuniosity and the fact that I'm far away from everyone I love minus 1(and a couple cats), but I should still be able to see the possibility in all that surrounds me. This isn't to say that I don't enjoy my life nowadays, I love Julie and we do tons of fun things here in Colorado, but it just seems like life is missing that simple freedom it has when you're a young dumb college kid with a swing-shift job, classes you can skip, and tons of friends to keep you entertained. Julie and I were talking about it the other day, about how we both miss our more youthful days and the atmosphere of college life. I suggested that she could go back to school for a higher degree to which she responded, "Yeah, but I'd still be old even if I was back in school", and she's right(not that she's "old" in a bad way, we're just in our mid 20s now). I've been applying to grad schools thinking that it'll be just like old times again, but I failed to realize that it's not just the academic environment that is missing in comparison to the me of a few years ago, it's things within myself. And it's scary, considering the fact that I just graduated college a year ago this month, and I'm already feeling that way. But it's not too late to do something about it.
I'm glad the new year's coming, it's time for some resolutions, and it's time to keep them. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 7th, 2007|03:00 pm] |
I found this in my old journal, that I filled out about 2004. Let's see how different things are now. If I leave an answer the same as the answer I put in 2004 I'll bold it
1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
-moved to a different state
-legally went to a casino
-white water rafting
-had surgery
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
-probably not
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
-nope, part of my war against overpopulation
4. Did anyone close to you die?
-my grandfather died(in 2004 it was my grandmother)
-hunter died(not super close but still a traumatic event)
5. What countries did you visit?
-the good ol U S of A
6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
-money
-more reading time
7. What date(s) from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
-moving to Colorado
-1 year anniversary with julie
-day my grandfather died
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
-moving across the country to live off 800 dollars a month
9. What was your biggest failure?
-health goals
10. Did you suffer any illness or injury?
-no but I did have surgery for an injury I didn't even know I had(hernia)
11. What was the best thing you bought?
-video ipod
since april I haven't been able to afford buying anything
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
-julie's for moving to Colorado
-my mom for caring for my grandfather in his final months and for taking care of all the loose ends
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
-mine, the president's, half the country's population
14. Where did most of your money go?
-most of it didn't come in, the little bit I had went to rent, food, and beer
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
-going home for thanksgiving
-going home for christmas
-moving to colorado
16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
-something by regina spektor
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? sadder, because im broke, i miss my grandfather, i'm fatter, i miss home, etc. But I'm not depressed, just not quite as happy as a year ago
ii. thinner or fatter? fatter
iii. richer or poorer? definitely poorer
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
-hung with friends, ate vegetables
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
-worked, drank
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
-with family in houston!
22. Did you fall in love in 2004?
-yes
23. How many one-night stands?
-zero
24. What was your favorite TV program?
-the office, everest:beyond the limit, jeopardy, COPS, man vs. wild, sports
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
-i dont know if ive ever hated anyone
26. What was the best/most inspiring book you read?
-didn't read anything too inspiring, but Another Roadside Attraction by Tom Robbins was pretty good.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
-bun b(had heard but not listened to prior to 2007), regina spektor, others that I can't remember, but it's been a slow year musically for me
28. What did you want and get?
-guitar hero 3
29. What did you want and not get?
-the lottery
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
-i don't remember what all I've seen, i liked 30 days of night as far as horror films go
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
-went to poison girl, i think
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
-more money, getting skinny again
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
-western shirts and jeans, though nowadays i mainly just wear my business casual stuff to work and then pajamas at home
34. What kept you sane?
-julie, family
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
-mitch hedberg
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
-congress' troubles
37. Who did you miss?
-houston, steven, danny, matt, family, jamie, patrick, much more
that's what i missed in 04, in 07 I miss houston, family, friends(drew,morgan,amanda,pozz,alex,cuban,matt,alex2,jeffpender and the neighborhood crew, and many more)
38. Who was the best new person you met?
-jessica(my boss) mary's cool too but she's a crazy conservative
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004:
-living on 800 dollars a month is hard
40. Quote a song that sums up your year:
-"I am going to make it through this year if it kills me" |
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| Thanksgiving |
[Nov. 27th, 2007|09:38 am] |
was grand.
I ate a ton of good food, and got to see most of the people I had wanted to see. There were a few people that I didn't get to see but it's hard to fit so much into a few days. Luckily I'll be back in a month for christmas, so no worries.
It was great to see the ol' stompin grounds though. As soon as I got downtown I wanted to jump out of my car and ride my bike all around like I used to. Unfortunately it was cold as hell and I have no idea where my bike is so I didn't get to do that.
I saw Tanari saturday night, which was weird. One of those "never thought I'd see that again" moments.
Sunday was a mixed blessing. I got to the airport at 11:30 AM for my 2:10 flight, only to find out my flight had been delayed to 3:40. Well, it then ended up being 5:30 PM by the time I boarded, so I had to spend 6 hours in the houston airport. I then had a layover in Dallas until about 8:30, and didn't arrive to Colorado Springs til about 10 our time, meaning 11 Houston time, meaning it took almost 12 hours to get here. Ridunkulous.
But that means that I got to study a lot for my GRE while in the airport. I took the test Monday morning at 9AM and did alright though I really felt I could do better on the verbal. I got a 790 on the quantitative and a 590 on the verbal, which are both well above average, but not perfect. I think that I did poorly on the verbal because by the time the second verbal section had come I was simply too mentally tired and didn't really try as hard. Oh well, the Clinton School that I'm considering had an average GRE score for its applicants last year of about 500 on each section, so I definitely meet those requirements.
Now I'm back in Colorado Springs, and it's coooooold. I am still unmotivated at work but I'm going to try to change that. I'm also going to get skinny. Fo sho |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 15th, 2007|11:33 am] |
My time with AmeriCorps is halfway done, which means I have to start thinking about my future again, total bummer.
&I went to college with hopes of discovering what I wanted to do with my life, and when I graduated still unsure of my calling, I took this position with AmeriCorps to procrastinate further on making a decision. Now that I'm halfway done with AmeriCorps I have to make a decision or choose to procrastinate further. So far, I'm leaning heavily towards procrastinating further by applying for graduate school. I'm hoping that if I get enough education somebody will just walk up to me and say "Come work for me doing such and such" and we'll all live happily ever after, but I know that's not really going to happen. Additionally, I haven't even registered for the GRE yet(it's hard to take a 150 dollar test when you make 800 a month) so I have very little hope of getting into a school for next fall.
&My time in Colorado hasn't been completely unprofitable, however.
I'm sure my body has enjoyed having fresh air to breathe for the past 6 months since I spent 22 of my first 24 years in Houston.
The beauty of my surroundings has been quite nourishing for what remnants of a soul I have.
I've gotten to spend a lot of time with Julie over the last couple months and it's been great, though I feel guilty because I have no friends or money here so I have nothing other than myself to offer as entertainment.
My ability to do 60 minutes straight of cardio at this altitude(6000+ feet) will make me some sort of super hero at sea level. No wonder the US Olympic Training Center is in Colorado Springs.
I've learned things about myself through my service that I probably am only partially aware of now, and will become more aware of in years to come when I reflect back upon this year.
I've gained invaluable experience at working for a nonprofit, which will help tremendously if I choose to continue in the nonprofit sector in the future(which is very likely)
Living on 800 dollars a month has humbled me in my finances and made me appreciate the position I have in life much more. That being said, I still haven't learned my lesson as I've overdrafted twice since being here, maxed out my credit card, and spent all of my savings account. I don't know how I'm going to make it through the next 6 months.
&Taking all the benefits of being here into consideration, I still miss Houston terribly. It's hard to keep in touch with everyone while I'm up here, as I stay pretty busy and so does everyone else, so our schedules rarely coincide. I miss my family a ton, and feel guilty for being away from them for so long. I miss my friends, I miss Chuy's(and good mexifood in general), I miss having a real job where I make money, I miss Montrose, I miss my bicycle, I miss shows(believe it or not), and tons of other things.
&I'm trying hard to improve myself up here but daily life makes it near impossible. It doesn't help that it seems that no matter how much exercise I do, I don't seem to lose any weight. I've been drinking way more than I should for being alone, and it only got worse when Julie moved here because then I feel less guilty about it because I'm not alone. I quit my medication months ago but I feel like I'm slowly degenerating to a point where I'm going to need it again. I don't have adequate medical coverage nor the money to pay for it, so I'm neglecting seeking professional advice when I feel sick. I'll be 25 in a few months, and now's the time to either get into a health lifestyle or risk having this lifestyle become the way I live out my days.
&I've gone to church the past couple weekends with Julie, but it still does nothing for me, other than possibly give me a more realistic view of the typical christian, rather than my somewhat cynical view I had before. I have always known that most christians are good people but when you're on the outside it's easy to only focus on the negative things about the religion without remembering that for the most part it's just normal folks trying to get along. That's all any of us are, and I'm beginning to realize that most are just as lost as I am, they just choose to adhere to certain things even if they don't completely believe in it so that they feel like they have a sense of direction. A sort of "fake it til you make it" attitude, but I don't think anyone ever "makes" it. And that's fine.
&I feel tired all the time now, yet restless. I'm burnt out on the program I'm doing here, so I'm beginning to dread coming to work, and it's bittersweet to know that I'm only halfway done. I find myself wishing for the simpler days where I stocked shelves at grocery stores and didn't have to focus on anything else other than enjoying myself and being with the people I love. Lots of people who are alums of AmeriCorps say it was the hardest year of their life and they learned tons from it, and I hope I will be able to say the same about it in a few years, because I don't know how many years I can handle like this one.
&My (biological) mom finally got sober, which is a good thing but only a drop in the bucket when it comes to her problems. She's still mentally destroyed by her sicknesses and living in abject poverty. I complain about my 6 months living like this, it's hard to imagine doing it for 15-20 years now like she did. I turn to the bottle to kill the petty stress of my life and she's now sober. My little brother doesn't drink as much anymore, only socially, and as far as I know Morgan is still sober too. It's my turn, but it's hard. I don't want to be the last man standing(or, well, drunkly stumbling). I hope this new year brings newfound strength to me, because I need it right now.
I could keep rambling about things forever, but I think I'm done for now. I'm at work and completely bored and tired. I will just keep focusing on the positives for now, like the fact that Julie's here, that we're going home for thanksgiving and xmas, that I got paid today, and that the Office is on tonight.
I'm going to try to write in this more often as I have not been able to train myself to start a paper journal, and I need to start venting again. I'm glad LJ is less popular(or at least mine is) now than it used to be when I was younger, because the shit I'm going to be writing is probably going to be boring to anyone other than me, ha, and I don't want to have to worry about trying to write to entertain readers or anything like that. |
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| julie is here... |
[Sep. 23rd, 2007|01:05 am] |
and things couldnt be more amazing.
today we celebrated her birthday by going to Manitou Springs(cute hippy town) and hanging out playing old school arcades, then going to a fancy dinner. I got her a couple books(including Rosie's new one) and an 80 dollar gift cert to a spa/salon. After dinner we came home and drank/smoked and played Tekken Tag(which we bought tonight) for a long time. That girl can kick some ass at Tekken Tag. I think the final win ratio was Julie:27 John:15
Last night we saw The 11th Hour(global warming doc by leonardo dicaprio). I liked it though if you know a bunch about gw already it could be seen as boring. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 17th, 2007|10:45 pm] |
Texans are 2-0, wtf?!?! I hope A.J. isn't out long with the knee sprain.
Julie moves up here beginning tomorrow. Meaning that she'll be here Wednesday, I can't wait!
I went to Denver yesterday and hung out with Die Young for the day while they were in town. It was awesome to see Daniel, and I got to eat a buffalo tofu sandwich, which was surprisingly good. It was nice to see some familiar faces. |
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| I'm on that there T-V! |
[Sep. 5th, 2007|11:06 pm] |
If you live in the southeastern Colorado area, which I'm sure you don't, you could've caught me on tonight's ABC news. Oh, what's that?, you missed it?, well I'll be on Fox 21's news morning show next Thursday at 8:45 AM. I will be teaching you and the general public the most important things you would need in an emergency kit. Tune in, fo sho.
And if you don't live in either of these areas, be sure to catch me in my 30 minute interview with Paul Rogers from Clear Channel Communications on a station near you.
I feel like a mini-celebrity! If only for a day.
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Other than work-related TV appearances, my parents are coming up this weekend to visit. This will mark the first time they've visited me at my place of residence since I moved from home. This is a sad fact considering that most of the time when I've lived away from home I was still in Houston, yet they never ever visited. This weekend, however, we will be taking a shuttle to Cripple Creek to go to the casinos, we will be doing a white water rafting trip, and we will be doing some sort of mountain hike(perhaps 7 falls). Oh yeah, and we'll all be stayin in my ghetto-ass 325 a month apartment, hah, so wish me luck with that! |
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[Sep. 3rd, 2007|12:03 am] |
It's funny that "Labor Day", a holiday pushed through by worker unions and members of both the communist and anarchist parties in the 1880s is now celebrated as such a boring holiday in the United States. In fact, we're quite tame when it comes to celebrating Labor Day. Most countries celebrate it on May 1st and it is accompanied by high-profile political speeches and demonstrations.
Ironically, we celebrate Labor Day the least yet we "labor" the most, according to most studies among industrialized nations. Year after year the United States ranks at the top for hours per work week and least amount of paid time off. The word "union" is shunned in present day America, and there is even a cultural tendency to ridicule those in Europe who work less than us by implying they are weak or lazy.
What people in America fail to realize is that we're in a modern day form of slavery by consent. Our economy is failing, yet we're working more and more hours. The median household income is falling while the median house price is rising. The rich are getting richer and the poor are getting fucked. Credit card companies own our lives, and by implementing a myriad of "Terms and Conditions" they assure that we'll never be free of their hold. And guess who these credit card and banking industry people know... if you guessed our politicians then you get a gold star. All their money and influence ensures that the people of this country will never really be heard. Sure, every 4 years we get to vote through a fucked up electoral college system for a president, but that doesn't mean that he/she represents us. The current presidential-fuck-up aside, all presidents are more concerned with the elite of the corporate world than they are the laborers who make that system work.
A capitalist democracy is an oxymoron, and it always has been. Political figures know that they need to continue the facade of democracy while preserving the interests of private business, and they're damn good at it. A capitalist society will always look after those who make the money, and will NEVER treat everyone as they were created equal. Any welfare recipient who thinks they get treated equally with the CEO of an oil company is a fool, and the Constitution is a farce, although it tends to help us out from time to time. This country is getting surpassed in so many areas, from education to GDP to military strength, and yet we as a people are doing little about it. Anyone who has taken a Western Civ class can probably see the similarities between us and the great empires, all of which who fell. The question now is how much will it take to topple the empire that is America, and where will I end up when all is said and done? The only good news for us is that much of the industrialized world is not much better than us right now, so we may be safe for a while. |
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| good news... |
[Jul. 21st, 2007|11:36 pm] |
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televangelists are dying at an alarming rate. |
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